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Thursday, October 18, 2012

MIND THE GAP

"There is always a gap between the impulse to step into the unknown and the realization that one has..."
Mahrud ad Nil

I spent a day hovering over the gap.  I had put one foot forward (a brave, foolish, or optimistic, foot...I didn't know which) and as that naive foot hovered over future ground, I trembled inwardly.  What if I become lost in the gap---the dark "nether place" that follows impulse and intention but precedes any sort of resolution or success...Ah, the unknown.  Suppose the gap is so wide that I do not find footing on the other side.  The other side---of the problem, puzzle, idea, intention, belief.  I am drawn to the unknown, while at the same time, I am discomfited by the absence of knowledge that hovers before it.  Drawn and discomfited!  Although not dissuaded...I hasten to say. 

It seems that my tried and true formula for living---for most of my life, that is---is composed of one part imagination, one part declaration and one part risk.  I spring forward.   I leap--often without looking!  I commit.  Commit to what?  To adventure?   To love?  To dreams? (perchance)?  I commit to Life.

"I will drink Life to the lees...
Much have I seen and known; cities of men
And manners, climates, councils, governments,
Myself not least, but honored of them all;
Far on the ringing plains of windy Troy.
I am a part of all that I have met;
Yet all experience is an arch wherethrough
Gleams that untraveled world."                           Alfred Lord Tenneyson Ulysses  (1842)

I am going around the world---and soon.  And there are gaps in my plan:  money, itinerary, arrangements for my house and pets...and, still:  I am going around the world...and I am leaving in December.  And I am minding the gaps...

Soon I will be seventy...This forthcoming trip is a gift, a challenge, and my celebration of the wonder of it all.
Seventy!  I am inspired by a quote attributed to  Oliver Wendell Holmes.  At ninety, he is said to have said, upon seeing a beautiful young woman...
"Oh, to be seventy again." 
That's worth remembering, as I "mind the gap"...and step forward!!


 

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