Sunday, April 10, 2011
Universe To Linda: Come In Linda!
The Universe seems to be telling me that I am headed for a whole new way of living! At first, I didn't believe it. Although I closed the Gallery after 33 years, I saw myself continuing to be "Linda Durham Girl Art Dealer"---just in a new way. No way! I thought the closing of the public space would allow me to deal more seriously with Artists and Clients---but that's not the way the Universe saw things. Evidently! Because here I am: a little more than a month after the announcement that the Gallery was closing and a week back from a quick trip to Myanmar--where I meditated and wrote and prayed and hoped for a smooth transition from my "public personae" into "Linda Durham Private Dealer and Consultant"...However...The Universe seems to be making other plans for me. Now, I do not mean to be vague about what's going on...I guess I just needed a few sentences to get me in the mood (to give me the courage) to write what's what. What's What: I ran out of money. I ran out of enthusiasm for the Art Game. I ran out of credit. I ran out of time. I ran out of optimism that things would soon turn around and everything would be roses and clover by summer. And, I realized that I have had a gambler-like addiction to the Art World: one more excellent show; one big sale; one good Art Fair...maybe, maybe...I think I can...make enough money to float this boat of hope! I ran out of reasons and excuses... I ran out of my Life! Before I went to Myanmar (where my low level depression could hide and soften under the sun--among some of my treasured friends and pagodas) I initiated or accepted some private dealer/consultant projects--interesting projects that would be fun and profitable. I returned home eager to get them underway. But Wait...This is a case of "the best laid plans of mice and (wo)men..." Everything fell apart, got postponed, canceled or suddenly (!) was of no interest to me! Now what, I wondered?! I have lots of debt, no money, no prospects, an expensive house filled with books and art and other treasures...and I would trade it all for...for...for what? Freedom? Purpose? And then...my old fantasy/threat loomed her wile-y head! I have freedom. I have purpose. I must use those qualities to create this next segment of my rich life. How? I asked myself! And The Universe and I decided to lighten my footprint, to acknowledge that I am no longer about things or style or fashion or fame or winning. I am about BEING. So, in the middle of this reluctant acknowledgement, I turn on the computer to check my e-mails...and there, in the middle of a near plethora of messages, is one from the Application Committee for the US BOAT to GAZA. I have been selected to be on board The Audacity of Hope, part of the International Peace and Humanitarian Flotilla. The Flotilla will sail in late May! And my path unfolds before me...And I am finding the courage to let everything go...I will sell and or give away all that I own. And I will make certain that this next Big, Remarkable Chapter of my Life will be the best, the most profound and most profoundly important part of this long---but not nearly long enough life of mine! If the consultancy jobs had not been dropped, I would have to have said no to the opportunity to be on board with a group of people who put their lives on the line in the name of peace and freedom. I am one of those people!! Awww...some days it is all so thorny, knotty and imponderable and sometimes the Universe says, "Here, Linda, take this opportunity and fly!!! Or, SAIL!!